Birgitte Dalsgaard is a volunteer in the Red Cross's vigil service. And there is a special reason for that.

"I don't think anyone should die alone. When you are born, there are always people present, so there should also be when you die. You walk the last stretch alone, but I can be there when you walk through the gate and follow you on your way. That's what I think is so important," says Birgitte Dalsgaard.

The volunteers of the vigilance service aim to create security and peace in the very last moments. The volunteers have experience in caring for the dying and want to relieve the relatives and listen.

As a vigil attendant, you can either be called out to hospitals, nursing homes, hospices or private homes. The volunteers do not participate in the care of the dying person, they are present to create security for the dying person and any relatives. 

What does it mean to be awake?

Birgitte describes her work as a vigil attendant as “holding space for the dying”.

“You sit and watch by the side of the dying person. You often sit in silence. Sometimes I knit or read a book, but I never sit with my phone. It's about being present in the room. You are present and try to create security for the dying person. Give them a feeling that they are not alone.”

Birgitte does not have a healthcare background that underlies her work as a watcher. She has private experiences that have opened her eyes to how important it is to be present in the last days.

“When my mother was declared terminal a few years ago, I was hospitalized with her in the last days. I was there every day and held her hand when she breathed her last. It was incredibly nice and meaningful to follow her the last part of the way. I would have been very sorry to miss that. Afterwards, I thought, 'if I can sit by my mother's side in her last moments, then I can sit with everyone'.”

Birgitte has been part of the Red Cross's watch service since 2022. There is no requirement for how often you are out on watch, it depends on how much time you have. Birgitte usually has two shifts a month of three hours each.

Part of the driving force behind being a wakemaker for Birgitte lies in how significant it is to be there for another person in their last moments.

"It is incredibly enriching to be allowed to witness a person's last moments. But entering the person's private sphere and getting an impression of the life lived is. Being there in something as private as the last part of a person's life is a privilege and an honor. I believe that no one should be alone when they die. No one is born alone, and no one should die alone. I can do my part to ensure that they get off more safely."

In addition to the value it has for the dying person, it also has great value for the watchman, says Birgitte.

"In today's society, where everything is buzzing and buzzing, with mobile phones that never leave your hand, it can be difficult to find peace. When you sit in this room with the dying person, there is an enormous peace. I would say that it has just as much value for the watcher as for the dying person."

Wouldn't it be difficult to let go of the experience again when your shift as a watchman is over?

“Some days are harder than others. I once had a very sad assignment in a nursing home. The dying person had not lived in the nursing home very long. She had almost nothing except two photos on the windowsill – one of a gravestone and an old large/white picture. There were no recent photos of children or grandchildren or anything that would indicate that she had loved ones around her. It was very sad and touched me very much.”

But being vigilant is also very much about knowing your limitations, explains Birgitte. You don't have to come in and fix everything right away. You just have to be present.

"I come in as a last visit, and I'm not going to do anything, I'm just going to be there. It can be difficult because as a human being you always want to act, and in a situation like that you easily think 'I have to do something', but that's not my job. The most important thing I can do is be present with the dying person. It's my presence that I can offer. I'm not going to do anything, I'm going to be there."